A Bossless Xmas Party
by Forensic Kitteh
Summary: Let your boss wander away, and all you CSIs will go crazy. A drunken duet, multiple hook ups, and a bathroom with a "Do Not Disturb" sign. E/C, R/N, Travers/Valera, Dave/OC T for stuff.


**Let your boss wander away, and all you CSIs will go crazy. A drunken duet, multiple hook ups, and a bathroom with a "Do Not Disturb" sign. **

Since officially alcohol wasn't allowed at the lab that Christmas party was teleported to a nearby bar. Natalia and Calleigh were on the decorating crew and Ryan and Eric were their slaves. As for Horatio, and the lab rats… well somehow they were still MIA. Ryan himself was happy to only be an elf slave- the girls had forced them into elf ears- but at least he didn't need to get up onto the ladder and topple over. And Eric… Eric was sitting quietly in a corner sawing on the end of the Christmas tree steadily. Ryan sneezed. A bunch of mistletoe slipped from Natalia fingers as ended up on Ryan's head. Natalia just shrugged and continued tearing the tape and taping the little bouquets of twigs to the wall.

"Maxine better not sing again." Calleigh grumbled as she unpacked the twinkle lights and tinsel.

"I doubt that she can keep her mouth shut after 4 eggnogs and rum." Natalia joked.

"Well-" Calleigh pulled a roll of duct tape out of her work bag. "Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver, so Maxine could be silver for the night." Calleigh said, setting the tape down on the table it quickly disappearing.

"I think that the elf ears are making me sneeze." Ryan said, before sneezing again.

"Really?" Natalia made her way down the ladder walking over to Ryan, pulling an extra pair of elf ears from the box and shoving them under Ryan's nose. Ryan sneezed with the force of a hair dryer. "Deal. We'll trade." Natalia pulled of the elf ears and put them on her own head, slapping her Santa hat on Ryan's head.

"D- Does that mean I'm also trading work places with you?" Ryan asked, looking up at ladder than at Calleigh with a sheer look of terror.

"Nope." Natalia laughed, making her way back up onto the ladder.

"Thank you; I love y-" Ryan face met his palm as Calleigh laughed so hard she almost fell off of her workplace. "This place is making me go nuts." Ryan groaned, as Eric turned over the fir tree, setting it into the stand. During the untangling of the tinsel, Calleigh broke a line, a million tiny pieces fluttering down and landing on Ryan. "DAMN IT!" Ryan cursed loudly.

"Got that jacket just dry cleaned?" Calleigh asked as she quietly munched on a candy cane, watching the whole thing unwrap with a bird view.

"SHUT UP!" Ryan barked.

"Wolfe, you're not getting kissed under the mistletoe with that attitude." Eric said, half glancing at Natalia who was now wearing a full blown blush.

"Hey! What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe!" Natalia snapped. "Unless you're Maxine of course."

"I HEARD THAT!" Maxine's voice sounded from the doorway as she came into the bar. "And why is Ryan covered in tinsel?" Maxine asked.

"Tinsel accident." Calleigh said. "And please don't sing this year. If you do you'll be silvered." Calleigh said before biting into the candy cane again. "Nom." Calleigh grinned, before throwing the end of the tinsel to Natalia.

"I swear to God…" Ryan came back into the bar, phone in hand, raging like an idiot. "VALERA!" Ryan barked.

"We're not in the lab, and I don't want to forget my first name so… call me Maxine please." Maxine said, calmly.

"JUST BECAUSE I GOT SPRINKLED WITH GLITTERY STUFF THAT DOES NOT MEAN I'M GAY!" Ryan roared, Eric almost falling face forward into tree. "IT'S ALL CALLEIGH'S FAULT!" Ryan shouted.

"Calleigh's fault you're gay?" Maxine asked, helping herself to a mini candy cane.

"NO! DAMN YOU ALL!" Ryan ran out of the bar again.

"HEY! ELF! COME BACK HERE!" Natalia chased after him, because she wasn't going up and down just to get decorations.

"Horatio will have no idea what he's doing." Eric muttered, as Calleigh made her way down to the ladder to decorate the tree.

Maxine phone suddenly gave off "Wishlist" by Neon Trees. "Oh. I won't be the only lab tech here." Maxine smirked when she read the text.

"Maxine, apologize to my elf before he runs off again." Natalia grumbled as she pushed Ryan into the bar again.

"I thought that you're his elf…" Maxine said.

"WHAT? NO! WE SWAPPED HAT BECAUSE HE'S ALLERGIC TO THE ELF EARS!" Natalia shouted trying to hide her beet red face. "See?" Natalia pulled her head band off of her head and shoved it under Ryan's nose. Ryan sneezed again. "Bless you." Natalia grumbled, as the catering van beeped outside. "Elf, you're going with me." Natalia pulled Ryan by his arm, almost dislocating his shoulder as she pulled him outside.

"Ha. Funny." Calleigh giggled a bit as she begun straightening out the skirt under the tree.

"Although I think that he should just wear mistletoe on his head and kiss Natalia already." Maxine said, Natalia almost dropping the chocolate cake as both of them entered the bar, hands full of food.

"Hey! Shut up!" Natalia smacked Maxine on the side of the head as Maxine as she rummaged in one of the boxfuls of decorations. "I'll kiss Ryan under the mistletoe if I need to! Or if I feel like it!" Natalia said, Maxine rubbing the side of her, as Ryan smiled broadly. "Stop smiling like an idiot!" Natalia snapped, pushing Ryan back outside to the truck.

"Wolfe can be the Rudolph for all I care." Eric said, handing Calleigh a box of Christmas ornaments. "What I do doubt is Ryan getting kissed under the mistletoe." Eric said, the sudden sound of metal wheels running over the bumpy floor came from the other side of the bar. Maxine was rolling in MDPD's karaoke machine, already loaded with lovely Christmas songs.

"Horatio needs to get rid of that machine soon, or I will do the deed." Calleigh grumbled as she attempted to plug the light into the plug… but the cord wasn't long enough. "Damn it. Now I need an extension cord." Calleigh mumbled. "Also, answer me, why are we always the ones that do this kind of crap? Why not Stetler and his IAB friends?" Calleigh asked.

"Stetler is the Grinch of the lab. No thank you." Eric said. "Give the karaoke machine over to Benton, he'll find a good use for it." Eric figured, shrugging a bit as Maxine helped to open up a few tables. Party was supposed to start at 7ish and it was around 5… already.

"Hell no! He'd load it with his ginormous iTunes library, make it portable and drag it to the spring picnic. And that will be the time when I will be charged with first degree murder." Calleigh said.

**~8:00 pm**

The party was a bigger success than expected. Even Yelina made it. Although she and Horatio quickly disappeared; that not sending off to much to the crowd. Dave found a morgue himself one of Tom's assistants to chat with. Maxine was already drunk, ordering another shot of vodka for herself… and Travers? Surprising, but not as surprising as the fact that bathroom was locked and moans of lust were escaping from it, clearly belonging to Eric and Calleigh since they were the only ones that weren't found in the bar. Regarding Natalia and her elf, they were all over each other under some mistletoe.

"If there's a karaoke machine in a corner why is no one using it?" The brown haired assistant of Tom asked.

"Because Calleigh warned Maxine that if she starts singing, she'd duct tape her mouth." Dave said, the brown haired girl bursting out loud in laughter.

"I thought I heard my name somewhere around here." Calleigh said, popping up behind Dave.

"You really threaten Maxine to duct tape her mouth if she sung?" The brunette asked as she took a sip of her beer, showing off a set of pearl white teeth.

"Were you at last year's party?" Calleigh asked, leaning against the wooden bar counter.

"Nope. I'm a newbie." She smiled. "I'm Allison by the way. On of Tom's slaves. Just don't tell him I called him a slave owner." She whispered laughing.

"Oh well nice to meet you Allison. Anyhoo, last year Maxine broke out singing so drunk we were afraid that someone would call the cops out on a cop party." Calleigh said. "Now I need to go find Natalia…" Calleigh said looking around.

"She and Ryan are hooking up in the bathroom." Allison said. "Well probably hooking up anyways, two people can't use a single stall bathroom for anything but hooking up." Allison figured, tossing her hair to the side.

"Wolfe- Nat- _hooking up?_" Eric rasped from behind Calleigh. Poor Eric heard the news, and choked on his drink and was now coughing and flailing. Calleigh patted him on his back, giggling.

"So much for only kissing under the mistletoe." Calleigh laughed, poking Eric is the ribs with a spork.

"Has the world gone mad?" Eric exclaimed, not hearing Calleigh as her ordered another whiskey. "Ryan Wolfe, hooking up with Natalia Boa Vista?" Eric asked, downing the drink in a swallow.

"Alright, Mr. I Don't Believe It, you need to cool down." Calleigh directed Eric away from Dave and Allison, as Ryan and Natalia quietly and quickly snuck out of the bathroom, forgetting the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob.

"Don't even ask." Ryan mumbled to Dave, when Dave stared at Ryan, slightly confused.

"I don't have to ask. I just need to tell you that you have lipstick on your chin." Dave said, turning back to Allison as Ryan wiped his chin, before glancing at his hand. _Seriously, Nat, next time… a little less lipstick. _

"What the _hell_?" Ryan's eyes became the size of tennis balls as they climbed up to the top of his head to look at the event. The sound that made Ryan's head almost explode was a British rendition of "12 Days of Christmas".

"Hand me your phone." Natalia commanded as Ryan tried to obey, still staring at the whole scene unrolling in front of him. Michael Travers was singing.

"Hey!" Calleigh suddenly appeared beside Ryan and Natalia. "I thought I said no singing!" Calleigh exclaimed, getting ready to run over to the karaoke machine.

"Yeah, but this year it's not Maxine who's singing." Natalia snorted. Good god, that woman was glowing.

"Huh?" Calleigh blinked. When she saw Travers singing she almost sat on the floor. "Good god, is he high!" Calleigh asked, steading her on Natalia shoulder.

"Nope. Just drunk. He and Maxine were gulping down shots together and you know how drunk Maxine can get." Natalia said, still recording with Ryan's iPhone. "Add a second person, and he a) will get as drunk as Maxine, and b) Maxine will get even more drunk with a buddy." Natalia said. "Oh and here she comes now." Natalia laughed. Maxine had joined Mike in a drunken duet. "Oh Horatio would kill us if he saw this." Natalia sighed, holding back Calleigh, who was trying to go and grab both of them, drag them away from the karaoke machine and throw the machine itself out a window. "You can ship them both to China in a box after they finish this song, okay?" Natalia asked, Calleigh sighing as they watched them sing. "Oh!" Natalia laughed. And she continued laughing until Calleigh sporked her shoulder.

"Care to explain?" Calleigh glared as Natalia as Natalia continued recording the little duet. Calleigh had no idea why Natalia was laughing so hard.

"They're standing right under a bunch of mistletoe." Natalia laughed. Since Maxine was always one to check if there was some mistletoe above her head during the Christmas season, the duet (there was no sense in calling them a couple, Maxine would probably ask for a gun the next morning) would kiss soon.

"I see that your mistletoe session ended up in the very odd event." Eric asked standing next to Calleigh as the 4 watched Mike and Maxine sing. By now, the whole bar was the staring at them.

"Shut up." Ryan grumbled.

The song ended, but Calleigh was still under Natalia's hold. Because Maxine just looked up, finding a bunch of mistletoe above her head.

"We're under mistletoe." Maxine giggled, Mike staring up. Calleigh had already brought out her cellphone from hiding.

"Oh well. We are. And it's a tradition so-" Traver's lips met Maxine's and Calleigh snapped what seemed like twenty million pictures. When they pulled away, Calleigh pocketed her cell phone and charged for her idiotic friends.

"Ahh!" Maxine giggled. "Calleigh's after me to duct my mouth!" Maxine giggled like an idiot, as Calleigh dragged the drunken duet outside, and hailed a cab.

"Where are they going?" The cab driver asked.

"Uh, can I drive in the front seat?" Calleigh asked, knowing that Maxine's place was close by. Not knowing where the hell Travers lived her only option was to drop both of them at Maxine's place, force Michael onto the couch, and Maxine onto the bed and let them sort it out in the morning.

"Sure…" The cab driver said warily as he stared at Calleigh's badge nervously. When the cab arrived at Maxine's place, Calleigh paid the driver, told the guy to wait, pulled Travers and Valera out of the backseat, entered Maxine's place, made Travers sit down on the couch, pushing him so that he fell onto the couch, and forced Maxine into the bedroom.

"Uh… ma'am, if you don't mind me asking, what was that?" The cab driver asked as Calleigh returned, climbing into the backseat.

"Those were two of my friends. Drunk and always glad to karaoke." Calleigh grumbled as they pulled up by the bar. "Thank you, sir." Calleigh paid the driver, tipping him well, before heading back into the car. "Horatio needs to throw the goddamned karaoke machine into a wood chipper." Calleigh grumbled, dragging the machine outside, Dave jumping up to walk over to her.

"Uh, can I take it off your hands?" Dave asked, Allison standing behind him.

"No!" Calleigh snapped, swearing under her breath as she pushed the heavy machine outside.

"Oh come on!" Dave half whined. "You're getting rid of it anyways, and I need it for my basement." Dave said, Calleigh sighing as she stared at Dave and Allison.

"Take it to where ever you want, just get it out my sight." Calleigh grumbled. Dave and Allison pushed it towards his car, hauling into the trunk, before driving away. _Together. _"You know when the world has really gone mad?" Calleigh asked Eric, as he handed her some eggnog with rum. "When Dave Benton leaves a Christmas party with a hook up." Calleigh mumbled, sipping the eggnog.

"What did you do with our singers?" Natalia asked.

"Dragged them both to Maxine's house, put them into separate rooms to sleep, but it's their entire fault. You don't get drunk at a Christmas party without any consequences at all." Calleigh said.

"Oh. Well just don't let them kill you tomorrow." Natalia said, as Ryan came up behind Natalia, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Well good night, we're leaving now." Natalia said, she and Ryan leaving the bar, leaving Eric flabbergasted.

"We? _We?" _Eric asked, getting up. "You're getting us a cab, because I can't handle this day anymore." Eric got up, Calleigh telling the bartender something about the decorations and removing them tomorrow before the two left also.

-0-

Still left with a slight headache from yesterday, Maxine tumbled out of bed, surprising still in clothes, before making her way to the kitchen. That when she saw… him. Whoever the hell he was. And let out a scream. "AHHH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" She screamed, the male surprised by the sound and falling of the couch. "SHERLOCK!" Maxine exclaimed, using her trademark name for Travers. "WHAT THE HELL?" Maxine screamed, still shaking from the little panic attack that overcame her when she saw Travers camped out on her couch.

"I don't know, but I'm really sorry, Maxine." He said, getting off the floor, with a bit of Maxine's help.

"This is all crazy Calleigh's doings." Maxine said, as Michael dusted off his shirt and jeans. Maxine couldn't help but a smile a _tiny _bit, because really, the British lab tech was cute.

-0-

"Hey you've guys gone viral!" Natalia's giddy voice sounded as the two made their way into the locker room.

"Viral?" Travers shot Maxine a confused look.

"Popular on the internet." Maxine whispered back as they entered the locker room.

"Oh. Why are we popular on the internet?" Michael asked, walking over to the little huddle in the middle of the room.

"You guys did a wonderful rendition of "12 Days of Christmas" yesterday." Calleigh explained.

"We _sang?" _Maxine and Travers asked at the same time.

"And kissed." Natalia fast forwarded to the little mistletoe kiss in the end.

"I don't think that MDPD should have any more Christmas parties anymore." Maxine shuddered as she slammed Dave's laptop shut, earning a scowl.

"I think that we all beg to differ." Natalia said.

"We? All?" Maxine asked. "HELL I THOUGHT THAT TRAVERS WAS A ROBBER!" Maxine exclaimed.

"I swear to God that if she was Calleigh she'd shoot me." Michael said.

"Hey, in Calleigh's defense you were both wasted." Dave said. "She had no option but to ship you guys out of the bar. "You're actually lucky, because Natalia suggested that Calleigh should ship you guys to China in a box." Dave said shrugging as Allison rested her head on Dave's shoulder.

"Shut up, Benton!" Travers barked. "It's not funny! And actually it's Valera's fault for getting me drunk so that I began singing!" Michael exclaimed, this English accent becoming heavier with every word.

"You're the one that scared the hell out of me this morning!" Maxine barked.

"Alright you two, stop fighting. Maxine you got Mike drunk first and he got his payback was scaring you in the morning." Natalia said. "Now truce." Natalia said glaring at both of them.

"Truce." Michael extended his hand.

"Truce." Maxine shook his hand.

"Well I gotta go now, so I'll see all of you later." Allison said, before kissing Dave lightly on the lips, and leaving the room. Dave got up, clearly looking like he was floating on air, and left. "Thanks for the karaoke machine, Cal!" Dave called out, leaving to the A/V lab.

"What the hell did he play?" Calleigh asked. "'Your Body is a Wonderland' by John Mayer or "Sex on Fire" by whoever the hell made that song." Calleigh said.

"Nickleback." Maxine said, Calleigh looking at her as though she was crazy. "That's the person that sung the song." She said.

"Right. Let's get back on a case before Stetler has all our asses." Natalia said, pushing Calleigh and Ryan out the door.

"We didn't do anything more than just, did we?" Michael whispered to Maxine.

"Nah, I doubt it. Calleigh probably got us out of bar before anything happened. Sorry for maiming you." Maxine laughed.

"Sorry for scaring you out of your wits." Travers laughed.

"I need your help, Maxine." Natalia pulled Maxine away from Travers, Travers just shrugging as the two women left. Note to self: Don't get drunk at the Christmas party next year.

-0-

**LOL! I meant this to be just a normal fic, but it ran and hit me over the head turning into a Traver-Valera-Dave-OC centric fic. xP **

**R&R plez! :) **


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